Want
by redflannel
Summary: After being forced to work alongside new ADA Casey Novak, Alex Cabot realizes that Casey is more than just a coworker.
1. Chapter 1

Ch.1

After seven years of working for Manhattan's Special Victims Unit, Alex Cabot didn't know how she had managed to stick through it for so long. Today had been a day like many others; signing warrants, watching interrogations, and listening to pathetic defense attorneys try to cut deals for their clients. Just as Alex thought the day was coming to an end and that she would be relieved of her job's stress until tomorrow, she got a call from Liz Donnelly, her supervisor, informing her that she would be overseeing a new ADA who would share her case load in SVU. Being someone who preferred to work alone, Alex was not pleased to hear this news, but she knew better than to argue with Liz this late. So, she reluctantly agreed without complaint and went back to finishing up the day's work.

* * *

It's not uncommon to have horrific days in SVU. But today made every other day seem pleasant. The team was relying on one witness to make a positive ID on a serial rapist. Normally that would be a good thing, except the star witness was a nine-year-old girl. As the other detectives were looking for more evidence to further incriminate the perp, Olivia was explaining to Alex that even though the girl saw him, she didn't think she was ready or strong enough to ID her attacker, let alone testify in court. Just as Alex was about to call off the line-up, she heard a voice behind her.

"Excuse me, are you Alex Cabot? I'm Casey Novak. The new ADA?"

Before Alex even had a chance to speak, she began talking again.

"So, where are we on the case...I read the file and I saw we have a witness who can ID the perp. Have you done the line up yet?"

"Uh…" Alex stupidly stammered, taken aback by her new co-worker's forward demeanor. "We…aren't doing a line up. The victim isn't strong enough and didn't get a good look at him. Even if she got lucky and picked him out in a line-up, the defense will argue that she's an unreliable witness."

"So? If they make that argument then we'll try to have it overruled. I say we go ahead with the lineup."

At hearing this, Alex felt her eyes widen and her entire face begin to heat up with anger. After all the stress this case has put on everyone, what place did this woman from the white-collar department have to come and question her decision? And on her first day no less. As Alex stood from her chair to face Casey, she knew everyone in earshot was listening. Only Alex's colleagues could get away with questioning her judgment, and even they would get an earful. Normally, she probably would've just blown it off. After all, it was her first day and she probably didn't know anything about the infamous ice-queen and how harsh she could be even on her best days.

"Oh, you're right," Alex stated. For a second she knew Casey thought she was about to be praised for her 'good suggestion.'

"I forgot you've worked in sex crimes…and that you were watching from outside the interview room when you heard this child's statement about how she was brutally raped. And I forgot you saw the horrified look on her face when we asked her if she thought she'd be able to make an ID of her attacker." Casey just stood there. A look of embarrassment spread across her face; but in that moment, Alex didn't care. "But in case _you_ forgot, I was assigned to be _your_ supervisor. Not the other way around. You don't get to come in here and start calling the shots on your first day. You think just because you read the file you know all there is to know about this case?"

"No…I…" Casey started to apologize, but Alex cut her off.

"Until you practically live here like the rest of us trying to build this case, you don't even get to _suggest_ what we should do. You can sit here and watch. Is that clear?"

Alex felt like her face was about to melt off by the time she finished speaking. She knew everyone had heard her. She hadn't even tried to be quiet…or professional for that matter. Still glaring at Casey, she noticed she had gone extremely pale, which made her green eyes look extremely bright. _"And really pretty,"_ Alex thought to herself.

"Ok." Casey muttered.

* * *

The rest of the day seemed to be never ending. Alex could feel Casey watching her every move, waiting to be acknowledged. Alex, however, wasn't interested in even making eye contact with Casey the rest of the night. All she cared about was how fast she could get home to her apartment and her bottle of wine.

At roughly 3 a.m., Alex came to the conclusion that there wasn't much more she could do for the case that couldn't wait until later. She said goodbye to the detectives and the captain, and as she was leaving she heard Casey's voice behind her ask, "Am I allowed to leave?" Alex turned around to face her and said "For now, when I leave, you leave. And when I get here, you better be here too."

Once Alex arrived home, she had hoped she'd be able to unwind with her wine and crossword, but she couldn't get the day's events off her mind. Normally, it would be the case that distracted her. The shaken victims, the awful crimes, and mostly the strain of making a good case often kept her awake at night. But tonight those things weren't what was on her mind. It was Casey. Though, Alex wasn't sure what it was about Casey that was causing her to think about her. Sure, Alex had undoubtedly been a complete bitch to Casey and embarrassed her in front of her colleagues on her first day…but that wasn't what Alex's mind kept going back to. For some reason, it was her eyes. She had pretty eyes, Alex supposed. They were bright green and stood out immensely in comparison to Casey's dark red hair and fair skin. Maybe it wasn't her eyes themselves, but the expression in them when she looked at her, Alex guessed. Maybe the sad, ashamed look in them was haunting Alex for being so cold, she assumed. So far, that was the only logical explanation she could come to as to why she couldn't stop thinking about Casey Novak's eyes.

* * *

A/N:

Please leave a review or comment!


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2

Casey's second day at her new job was just as bad as the first. The only difference was that Alex Cabot hadn't publicly humiliated her today. Instead she ignored her, leaving Casey to observe and take notes until Alex was called into Judge's chambers. Before leaving, Alex told Casey to go back to her office and finish some leftover paperwork before heading home. As Casey was finally finishing up the paperwork and about to pack up her things, she heard a knock on her office door. She wasn't sure who to expect when she said, "Come in," but she definitely wasn't expecting to see Alex.

Before Alex started speaking, Casey took in her appearance. Her expression looked flustered, as if her meeting in chambers hadn't gone how she had hoped. However, the long and exasperating day seemed to have no effect on her physical appearance; she looked perfect. She was wearing an elephant grey blazer and matching pencil skirt that hugged her figure perfectly. Underneath she wore a powder blue blouse that forced Casey to notice how stunningly blue Alex's eyes were underneath her black rimmed glasses. Her blonde hair and make up looked as if she had just left the house; and now, seeing her from a distance, Casey realized that Alex was actually moderately tall and very slender.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Alex's low, steady voice: "Hi, sorry to interrupt you…Do you have a minute?" Caught off guard that Alex hadn't come in to give her more paperwork or another lecture, all she could manage was "Uh, sure. I guess…" At hearing this, Alex walked over to Casey's desk and put her hands on the top of one of the chairs as if to sit down, but she stayed standing. " _Probably to show authority,"_ Casey thought.

As she started speaking, Casey locked her eyes with Alex's. She was curious as to why she came in here so late if it wasn't to burden her.

"I wanted to apologize for the way I talked to you yesterday," she stated simply. "Not that it's any excuse, but yesterday was a particularly difficult day and your… _eagerness_ caught me off guard and was enough to set me off. I was completely out of line and unprofessional."

Casey almost felt her jaw drop at hearing this from Alex Cabot. She knew it was wrong that Alex had spoken to her that way, but she also knew she shouldn't have started off so abrupt. But an apology? That was the last thing she expected to hear. She knew she needed to respond to this so she just said, "It's alright, I understand." Alex seemed satisfied with her response and even went as far as to tell her that she _is_ allowed to ask questions and make suggestions from now on. "Do you need any help finishing that paperwork I handed you?" she offered. "I actually just finished as you walked in. I'm on my way out now." Alex seemed to hesitate for a minute before saying "Ok, then I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

As Alex walked out of Casey's office, she felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Her outburst towards Casey had been bothering her since it happened, and she felt a wave of relief flow over her as she stepped outside on her way home. She wasn't sure why it had bothered her so much, though. It wasn't as if she really knew Casey. She has never been concerned about hurting people's feelings before and it made Alex curious as to why Casey was any exception.

* * *

A/N: If you have any reviews/comments please tell me! This chapter was a little shorter, but I'm still testing it out.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch. 3

Months had passed since Casey started working with Alex. Despite their initial differences, the two worked well together. Alex would even say she was pleased she had been paired with Casey. Though she would never admit it, Alex admired Casey's intelligence and found working with a partner as smart as her very appealing.

As Alex was just finishing up the last of her paperwork, someone knocked on her door.

"Come in."

"Hey Alex, I was wondering if I could ask you about this deal I'm going to offer the defense…" As she began explaining, Alex wasn't paying attention to her words, but her lips. She felt nervous being around Casey, but anxious being away from her at the same time. She found Casey intriguing, but still couldn't place her feelings about the younger attorney. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her name.

"Hello? Alex? Are you even listening to me?"

"Yes. I am. I'm sorry Casey, it's just been a really long day. Could you run that by me again tomorrow morning? I really need to get out of here."

"Ok, sure." Casey stared at Alex after she said this, as if debating to delve more into the fact that Alex admitted something even _slightly_ personal to her. Before she could speak, Alex caught her off guard by asking "I'm actually going to get a drink before I go home, do you want to join me?"

Casey felt her heart skip a beat when she heard this. Alex had constantly been on her mind, but the only times they interacted were in a professional manner at work. She had never been with a woman before, let alone had feelings for one, but Alex seemed to be sort of an unwanted exception. As hard as she tried, she couldn't stop thinking about the blonde. Of course she knew Alex wasn't asking her on a date, just for drinks as colleagues, but she couldn't help but think that Alex doesn't ask many co-workers out for drinks.

"Sure, that sounds great," she responded trying not to sound either too interested or too nonchalant. "I just need to drop these off in my office," she said, motioning to the papers in her hand.

"Ok, well I'll wait for you outside then," Alex stated coolly before grabbing her coat and scarf.

* * *

On their way to the bar Alex found herself comfortable making small talk with Casey. She was surprised at the ease in which the two could share a conversation, and found that even when they didn't have things to talk about, the silence wasn't uncomfortable. As much as she was enjoying Casey's company, she was hoping that some of her other coworkers would be at Ryan's, the bar they all frequently went to after a long day. It wasn't so much that she didn't want to be alone with Casey, she just didn't want to come across as too welcoming…it was much easier to keep up her ice queen façade with others around. When they walked in the bar, Alex smiled to herself at the familiarity and comfort she felt in the dusky bar. It was so uncharacteristic of her to be fond of a dirty bar, but then again so was her interest in Casey. To her disappointment, no one from SVU was anywhere in the bar, so she and Casey made their way over to two empty bar stools.

"Whiskey," Alex said to the bartender as she sat down. Casey gave her a surprised look before asking for a shot of tequila. "What?" Alex asked Casey. "Nothing," she replied smirking. "You just fit the stereotype well, that's all."

"And what stereotype would that be?" Alex wasn't sure whether to be insulted or not by Casey's remark. During the time she'd known Casey, Alex hadn't any conversation with her on a personal level. She knew Casey was a smart ass, but sometimes her level of sarcasm was hard to pick up on.

"Oh you know," she began "Harvard grad, moved to New York to pursue a political career, moving up ranks in the DA's office in the meantime…practically lives at work, and sulks with a glass of whiskey in a bar after a long day…" Casey took her first shot and glanced over at Alex after she said this who only corrected her by saying "I don't sulk," and glared at her with empowering blue eyes.

"You're right about the other things though," Alex admitted sipping her whiskey and swallowing hard as the harsh liquor hit her throat.

"I know I am. That's all I really know about you though Alex…" she trailed off as if expecting Alex to offer up her life story.

"What else do you need to know?"

"Well I guess I don't really _need_ to know anything, but we have been working together for several months now and I don't even know where you're from?"

"Pennsylvania," Alex said barely audible and not making eye contact.

"That's funny, I'm from Philly. Did you not like it or something?" Casey watched Alex sip on her whiskey and look at the bar as she asked this. When she didn't respond, Casey asked "What about your family? Do they still live there?"

At hearing this, Alex gave Casey a look that told her that subject was off limits. Casey sighed and took another shot before changing the subject.

* * *

Throughout the night Alex found herself becoming more used to Casey's personal questions, and the more she drank the more she began answering them.

If Alex didn't find Casey so appealing, she probably would have found her interrogation annoying. Her questions ranged anywhere from what was Alex's favorite color to which classes she took in law school. Alex wondered if Casey hoped she would reciprocate and ask her as many questions, but Alex only answered.

At around midnight Alex finished off her glass of whiskey and stood up to leave only to realize how drunk she really was. She felt her head spin and had to grab onto her chair to keep from losing her balance. Her attention focused when she heard Casey laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"I just never though I'd see you like this, you're usually so…put together," Casey stated.

"Well don't pretend like you aren't drunk too."

"Ya, but three shots and a glass of wine aren't five glasses of whiskey."

Alex just rolled her eyes as she stumbled towards the door.

"…do you want to split a cab?" Casey asked.

"No, my apartment's just a couple blocks away. If you want, you can walk with me and just crash on my couch?"

Casey wasn't sure what Alex was insinuating. Maybe she was just looking too much into it because she'd had too much to drink…and maybe that's why Alex had offered that…because she'd also had too much to drink. Either way, Casey was too tipsy and intrigued to pass up Alex's offer.

"Are you sure? I don't want to impose or anything…" She was trying to get more of an explanation out of Alex, but as per usual Alex responded with the simplest answer that revealed nothing.

"No, I don't mind at all, I wouldn't have offered if I felt you'd be imposing."

Alex led the way as they started walking towards her brownstone. Casey was beyond freezing and every time Alex looked at her with those icy blue eyes, she felt even more chills throughout her body.

"Are you cold?" Alex asked sarcastically.

"Is it that obvious?" Casey threw back through chattering teeth. When Alex looked over at Casey as she said this, she realized how bad she really wanted Casey. She pursed her lips in thought and kept walking, mulling over her feelings. Maybe she's just had too much to drink? After all, it wouldn't be the first time she had a drunken interest in someone…

Alex's thoughts were interrupted when they reached her apartment. Finding her keys and opening the door seemed like impossible tasks in her state of mind. When she finally got the door open, she threw her bag down and went to get a glass of water. She almost forgot about Casey entirely until she heard her taking off heels. Feeling overwhelmed about her feelings towards Casey, Alex took a bottle of wine from her fridge and two wine glasses over to the couch where Casey was sitting.

"Want some?" Alex slurred, sitting down and pouring herself a glass of merlot.

"Just some."

"Had too much?"

"Apparently my tolerance isn't as high as yours."

Alex laughed at this, thinking to herself that she hadn't even had that much to drink.

"Why do you still have your coat on?" Casey asked.

"Oh, I wasn't even thinking about it," she said as she stood up to take it off. Casey stood up at the same time and awkwardly asked if she could have a glass of water. "Sure…" Alex's thoughts were lost as she found herself face to face with Casey; her green eyes staring directly into Alex's blue ones. Without even thinking, Alex leaned into Casey and kissed her, her lips just brushed Casey's at first, but then Casey began kissing her back.

Even though Casey had hoped for this to happen, she couldn't believe how surprised she felt. As nervous as she was, she tried to just relax and take it all in. Alex tasted like mint and whiskey and her lips were incredibly soft. Casey never envisioned herself enjoying kissing a woman, but Alex's lips felt amazing against her own.

Mid-kiss, Casey moved her hands from around Alex's waist to under her coat and blazer to slip them off her shoulders. Alex broke away for a second as Casey started to pull her closer and immediately stepped away.

"Alex, what's wrong?" Casey asked, confused.

"I'm so sorry." Alex stood with her hand touching her lips staring at Casey. She was surprised at her own actions and worried that Casey wasn't even interested. "I don't know what got into me. I'm so sorry."

"Alex, you don't need to be sorry." Casey reached out and pulled Alex in to kiss her again and Alex felt confused and surprised that Casey was reciprocating. She wanted more, and she could tell by the way Casey was kissing her that she did too. Breaking away from Casey and smirking, she led the way to her bedroom.


End file.
